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He wouldn?t talk much aboutit and that bothered me even more. And still, I was a rape victim beingthrown back into the sexual wild. I?m not saying that to arousesympathy ? I?m saying it because it is true and really clouded me. Ihad major emotional issues to deal with, but I never did anything aboutit. I just kept serving breakfast in a bra and panties, waiting to bebent over again.I?m sure I looked like I was OK. I?m sure it looked like I - and likewe - were in a great pattern and really enjoying ourselves. I was truly?living the dream? - the good life, the clothes, cars and money - and Iwould have done anything for him. Not because of those things, butbecause of him. I loved Ryan. I don?t want to give too much away,since it all gets resolved, but I know my willingness to please Ryan wasa major reason things ended up the way they did. He deserves some blametoo. I can only go on the facts that I have.Diary Entry: November 2008Ryan and I got talking about more surgery. He offered the Sheriff $50,000 to screw up something about the evidence and let him go free. He turned that down, but did accept $100,000. One of the deputies was wearing a wire and they got the whole thing on tape. He was arrested the next day by the State Police and was forced to resign. They have him on a bunch of other stuff, too.) ‘Like what, Amber?’ (He had a bunch of deputies working on his reelection campaign while they were on duty and he required all of them to donate $200 each to his campaign. Both of them are felonies involving election law. The story has been all over the news for the past week. He’s out on $500,000 bail and word is he’s hoping for a plea bargain.) ‘Any idea when? I’d love to be there when he goes down.’ (Hold on…let me check the paper.) Jennie asked me if we could go, knowing that I couldn’t deny her. A few seconds later her friend Amber was back on the phone. (Okay, Jess I knew I saw it earlier today. He’s scheduled to appear before Judge Pepper on.
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